JP Observer: How do we solve a problem like the Donald?

A Quiz (with apologies to Oscar Hammerstein)

President Donald Trump has done what no other president in American history has done—refused to acknowledge that he lost re-election when preliminary results showed he lost by a large margin—an electoral college margin Trump frequently called a “landslide” when he got the same number four years ago. Everyone is wondering what will happen to this country between now and Joe Biden’s inauguration day, Jan. 20, 2021—and after that. So much depends on what Trump does and how our government institutions and the public respond.

     Nervous? Take the following quiz alone or with others and come up with a scenario. You may choose one or more answers for each of nine questions. You may also add another answer not on the list. For many questions, more than one answer may turn out to be correct. By January 21 or before, if you and everyone else are lucky, we will know what happened and how many points you scored on questions 1-6. Trump’s behavior is so erratic and difficult to predict and his stated plans so changeable, some of these issues might be resolved before you see this. Each correct choice you make is worth a point. No time limit. Take your time. He is.

     1. When will he officially say he concedes the election?

     • Never. • When pigs fly. • The 12th of never. • When Putin tells him to. • When Dolly Parton gives him a million dollars, like she gave to Vanderbilt University to help develop a covid-19 vaccine. • Not even if he decides to attend Biden’s inauguration.

     2: When and under what conditions will he leave the White House?

     • In December for “the holidays” and just not come back. • When he figures he can’t raise much more money for his PAC by sending his supporters 22 solicitations a day that accuse Democrats of fraud and pretend the donations are all going to fight the election results. • January 19, the day before Biden’s inauguration. • January 20 during Biden’s inauguration ceremony when US Marshalls escort him and his family out, announcing arrangements to move his stuff into 30-day storage, like a typical eviction. [Hint: You may substitute Secret Service, US Army, Navy Seals, DC police, local constables or Proud Boys for US Marshalls and possibly win a point.] • If election results are certified by all the states on or before Dec. 8. • When the electoral college votes for Biden on Dec. 14, as he said he will on Thanksgiving. • When enough legislatures where Biden won refuse to overturn the vote results and give their electors to Trump. • When none of his court cases are successful at getting him the presidency. • When he falls short of the 5+ million more votes or so he would need to beat Biden. • When a court(s) say he has to. • After his loyal militias are unsuccessful at preventing the peaceful transfer of power.

     3: Where will he go?

     • A property he owns outside the U.S. • Mar-A-Lago • Manhattan • Moscow • Prison [For extra points name federal, New York, or both. Won’t know until after January 21.]

     4: What will he say about his election loss when and after he leaves?

     • He was robbed. He will accuse [Choose up to 9 from this list.] the lamestream media, Antifa, the Left, the courts, the state legislatures, the governors, the dangerous Democrats, the Rinos (Republicans in name only), or Venezuela for “rigging” the election against him. Other?

     5. What will he do before he leaves? [Hint: He has already done or tried to do many of these things since Biden was declared the winner on Nov. 7.]

     • Try to suddenly do everything he promised: finish the wall, bring troops home, fix aging pieces of infrastructure using military or maybe health budget, abolish covid-19. [One point for each.] • Pardon some creeps. (Name the creeps for extra points.) • Hold another rally or more. • Campaign for the Republicans running for Senate in Georgia. If they don’t win, claim the Democrats committed voter fraud. • Include himself among those he pardons. • Bomb Iran’s nuclear facility(ies). • Provide tons of weapons to UAE because he made a deal. • Ask oil and gas firms to officially declare where they want to drill in Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge. • Try to burn the White House down. • Continue to claim credit for all sorts of good things he didn’t do, like improve the economy, including things Biden will do. • Try to totally discredit how voting is conducted in this country. • Destroy lots of federal government documents and notes. Keep a few possibly valuable ones for later. • Encourage others to try to prevent the Biden administration from being able to govern. • Do nothing about the covid-19 pandemic except take credit for vaccines. • Do Nothing to get Congress to pass an economic relief package for people.

6. What will he do after he leaves?

     • Play a lot of golf. • Spend more time with his wife and son Barron. • Spend more time with Ivanka. • Spend less time with Don, Jr. and Eric. • Hold rallies. • Bad-mouth the Biden administration constantly. • Continue fundraising for himself. • Immediately and continually say the pandemic is terrible and Biden should do more to stop it. He will say it started spreading badly only after Biden took office. • Immediately start running for president for president in 2024. • Continue to tweet falsehoods a lot. • Express a lot of anger and victimhood. • Continue to email and text his supporters many times a day saying terrible things about non-supporters. • Be tempted to trade state secrets for payment or forgiveness of his massive debt and possibly actually do it.

     7. What will happen to his famous “supporter base” after he leaves?

     • Trick question. Depends somewhat on media. If major media continue to regularly report on his tweets and rallies and press conferences, even if coverage presents his wrongdoings and faux pas, his clout will continue and be a force for 2024. • If mainstream media pay much less attention to him, his base will shrink proportionally more each year. • At first, some of his base supporters will form and join some militia groups that actively support him. • He will lose more potential voters each day he refuses to concede, say when he plans to leave office or say whether he will attend Biden’s inauguration.

     8. Where will Trump never go again, because he told crowds at campaign events there he wouldn’t if he lost the election? [Note: Don’t be confused. He said at a rally in Erie, Penna. that he would not be in Erie if he didn’t have to be, because he was only looking for their votes, but he didn’t say directly he wouldn’t go back if he lost. Note: Conservative Erie voted for Biden this time. Voters told pollsters they like Trump’s stands on issues but not him.]

     • Florida • Iowa • Michigan • Minnesota • North Carolina • Ohio • This country

            9. Essay question for no points, just for the calming effect on your blood pressure and heart rate: How will Donald Trump be remembered 20 years from now?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *