Dear President Trump:
I have some genuine advice. Human to human. If you’re an angry, miserable, obese, over-sensitive, self-loathing troll, with no real friends or interests, no joy in life, if your dad didn’t show you enough love and your chemicals are imbalanced and your whole toxic environment has metastasized into a dark sludge that engulfs every molecule of your physical, emotional and spiritual being, sometimes all you need is a little exercise! How about signing up for a couch to 5k! Enlist a friend. If you don’t have a friend, a subordinate will do – maybe Kellyanne Conway or one of your sons or, heck, if you come to Boston, I’ll do it. And take the plunge! You could start with a 15 minute run / walk on Inauguration Day. Ramp up very slowly. Tiny incremental increases a few times a week. And before you know it, you’ll be able to run three miles all by yourself! You might make some real friends, lose a few pounds, have something fun to talk about, maybe even discover that life is not all about wielding power over others. Vladimir Putin will be impressed (say what you will about the guy, but clearly he exercises). You could run a marathon with Paul Ryan! Just a suggestion. Give it a shot! You can thank me later!
Yours truly,
Dan Janis
Jamaica Plain resident